The rantings of an angry Army wife >:(

I do not get angry easily.
For me it's a process really.
I'm hurt, upset.
and i let it build...
and build...
annnnnd build...
and then...
KA BOOM.

I lose it.
...but it doesn't happen often.


That said. I AM INFURIATED RIGHT NOW.
There was no building up this time.
Nope! I went straight to "stone-cold,punch-you-right-in-the-juglar,giggle-as-i-bury-your-body" ANGRY.

Tonight, someone (who's name will remain annoymous, mostly bc I do not want to be responsible for their death...) stepped over the line. WAaAAAAaaaYyYY over the line. So far past the line, the line looked like a dot. 
This person started making what my husband does a contest.  I don't see protecting us, working to keep our nation great, as any kind of a game.  It's not fun and there are no winners... but Silas does it anyway because he sees it as HIS duty.

That sweet little piece of arrogance was telling me how my soldier hadn't seen enough war. As if any amount of war isn't enough. They said they knew people who'd seen more just because of the military branch he's in (as if one is superior to the other... aren't we all working for the same thing, people?!?). Whoah, whoah, whoah! My husband is AN INFANTRY SOLDIER. We don't know and probably never will know what he's seen. Do you know why?!? Because he didn't do it for bragging rights.  It wasn't the money (because you know we're rolling in it... ;) ). It couldn't have been to travel (he's not a big fan of desert... lol). 
These are (a few of) his reasons:

So, dear person of arrogance, if you think your reasons are bigger or more important, than I wish you a life time of happiness with your giant head :) 

ps. if you EVER speak to me like that again... well, let's just say, you'll have to part your butt cheeks to see which direction you're walking ;)
("Bless your heart" ;) lol)

Can't touch this! Confession #2 :) 09.04.11

Confession #2

I Confess...

I don't like to be touched.

Okay, Okay. Let me clarify before i start hearing, "I've SEEN you and silas together, you didn't seem to mind..." or "Oh, no. Does that mean i shouldn't hug you?!?"

A. My husband can touch me anytime he wants ;D

B. I LOVE to be hugged... by the people i love. If i know the hug is coming I'm prepared. Small children aren't a problem, i don't get upset... they're cute & know no barriers.

It's just the randoms, that freak me out.

No unneccesary contact for me! 

You know, the old man at church who grabs your shoulder and welcomes you? Or my friend's mom that hugs me and squeezes? Pats on the back? The co worker that runs her fingers through my hair?  A sneaky hug from behind (it doesn't matter who...)

Ew. No.

Annnd when I say it freaks me out, I mean, I panic inside.

I turn into this rigid creature that can't move or speak.

My bones are lead.

I stand there with a frozen smile trying to reciprocate while my heart races.

Most of the time I get throught it with a sigh of relief and the other person barely notices.

Occasionally, I don't move, the other person, noticing I'm still breathing says, "You okay?!?"

Even more rare, I just get irritated and shake their touch off like a bad germ after they leave.

I'm a bit of a freak, but at least i'm good at faking the normal ;D lol.

So, there you have it...

This is probably a big surprise to those of you who are around me.

You're probably going, "Whaat?!? I thought she LOVED my hugs."

And, if I love you, I do ;)

Fess Up! 8.26.11 :) #1

So, I'm trying something new... confessions :) They maybe small things, big things, shocking, funny, or appaling, but (at least) once a week, i will confess to you. This should be fun ;)

Here goes my first one!

CONFESSION #1

I Confess...

I do not think new born babies are cute.

They often look like hairless rats, or aliens... I even saw a new born that looked like a clingon once!

I know this makes me like an anti christ or something. lol

I LOVE babies, i just don't think they get cute for a couple of months.

Like Arnold...

Hey, there :)

Long time no see.

GUESSS WHAATTT?!?!

I'm baaaack.

(cheesy arnold accent implied)

...so hold on tight.

ps. I can't wait to catch up & see what you've all been up to.

XoXo.

A Love Letter

Can you believe it's been a year? A whole year since I gave you my heart...
I know you knew all along I'd be yours someday. It must have broken your heart to see me fighting it.  How many times did you whisper for me to come to you?  Did you want to give up on me???

It breaks my heart to know I must've hurt you.  I'm sorrowed by the number of years wasted because of stubborn pride.  Please forgive me, and know I'm sincere when I say my heart is yours...finally.

Everyday I learn things about you that leave me amazed. I still don't understand how you: all knowing, compassionate, just... gave  up EVERYTHING important to you, so that you could have me forever even though you KNEW I would reject you year after year.  Or how could you paint a sunset, but still call ME beautiful??? OR how could such a mighty God long for my praises the way I long for His love???  I am so relieved to know you are not all of the things so many Christians tried to tell me you were for twenty years.  I am still learning, and I pray you'll continue to draw me in and teach me about you. Thank you for giving me friends that encourage me to learn and a husband that shows me glimpses of you.
 
I can never repay you for taking my battered heart a year ago today.  For loving me even though you know every flaw, every heart break, every mistake. I am so in love with you. And yet I know it doesn't compare with the love you have for me.
I cannot wait to live with you forever <3
Make it come soon.

All yours,
Kristi Renee
  

Picture Perfect :: Day 18

DAY 18 - A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVORITE PLACE.

Right here.

In his arms :)

Picture Perfect :: Day 17

DAY 17 :: A PICTURE OF YOUR BIGGEST INSECURITY.

My body.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and have never been completly happy with my body.

I do love my over sized booty (lol), but i am weirdly shaped. 

Above my belly button i'm medium sized (besides my flabby arms :P) but below I am X LARGE, baby ;D haha.

I am very insecure about my body, i am constantly looking in full length mirrors, tugging at my clothes...

It's something i wish i could be cured of because I know it hurts those who love me as well as myself.

...but hey! We're all a work in progress ;)

Follow, Follow, Follow :)

My hubs has a new Blog :) It's super interesting & sometimes humorous :) lol Here's a link to a recent post about me! Check it out!

Ps. if you haven't yet, you should check out my blog with the bestie :)

XoXo.

Picture Perfect :: Day 16

DAY 16 :: A PICTURE OF YOU & YOUR FRIENDS.

I cannot pick just one, so here are a few for your enjoyment ;D

XoXo.

Picture Perfect :: Day 15

DAY 15 :: A PICTURE OF SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE.

Ohhhh, there are so many things! To read all of them: go to this nifty blog here :) 

There are really important things like have at least one baby with my love, and sillier things like sing karaoke... publicly :O lol.

I'll just pick one i want to do soooon ::

ha.ha. ;D

<3

LEARN TO RIDE A BIKE!

I know, I know. I am 21 years old and i don't know how to ride a bike... shame, shame :/

LOL.

Picture Perfect:: Day 14

DAY 14 :: A PICTURE OF SOMEONE YOU CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT.

This one's a hard one.

Every person in my life makes it what is, and i don't want to imagine life without them.

I can't even imagine life with out my family, my best friends, but especially Silas.

Picture Perfect :: Day 13

DAY 13 :: A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVORITE BAND OR ARTIST

What the french toast?!?! I love music! How i am supposed to pick just one?

So.... I'll post pics of the music i'm digging now :)

Barlow Girl:: I almost always have their CD's in the player.
They're the best!

LOVE this CD :)))

Michael Buble = ANGEL :)

Picture Perfect :: Day 12

DAY 12 :: A PICTURE OF SOMETHING YOU LOVE <3

Hugs :) 

Picture Perfect :: Day 11

DAY 11 :: SOMETHING YOU HATE.





GOODBYES :/

Silas promises me everyday that someday (soon) I will never have to say good bye to him again.

I am waiting :)



God promises us there will be a day when ALL goodbyes are put away.

I cannot wait :)



HEY, YOU! Yeah, YOU!

Make like a

 L I B R A R I A N

&

...CHECK THIS OUT :) :) :)

(haha. yesh, that is my own material ;D)

I have a new blog with my bestie:: http://2sexy4thisblog.blogspot.com/

It's all about ANTM, and even if you're not into the model scene (and if you're not, how are we still friends?!? lol), it's still a good laugh ;D

So, follow, Follow, FOLLOW :)

XoXo.

Picture Perfect :: Day 10

DAY 10 :: A PICTURE OF SOMEONE YOU SEE YOURSELF MARRYING/BEING WITH FOREVER <3

Um, DUH :P lol



Picture Perfect :: Day 9

DAY 9 :: A PICTURE OF A PERSON WHO HAS GOTTEN YOU THROUGH THE MOST.

It may sound lame, but Jesus :)

I know that He will never leave me no matter what is happening in my crazy life.

and I know that ultimately He has his hand on everything, even if i'm completly overwhelmed.



Picture Perfect :: Day 8

DAY 8 :: A PICTURE THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH ;D

Um, yes. I did indeed vote for CHUCK NORRIS for governor ;) lol.

Picture Perfect :: Day 7

DAY 7 :: A PICTURE THAT SHOWS YOUR TRUE SELF



THEN





NOW



The sweet little pastor's daugher had to give a grand finale to Jesus Loves Me :)

...And i've been makin them all smile (and sigh) ever since!

Picture Perfect :: Day 6

DAY 6 :: A PICTURE OF SOMEWHERE YOU'VE BEEN.

CHICAGO :)
with my beautiful sisters <3



Picture Perfect :: Day 5

DAY 5 :: A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVORITE MEMORY.

Okay, i'm gonna say ONE of my favorite memories, lol. I have TOO many!

Bringing home Silas from boot camp :)
It was one of the happiest times of my life just to have him back in my arms again <3
I long for that again.

Our moms welcoming him home :)



Picture Perfect :: Day 4

DAY 4 :: A PICTURE OF YOUR NIGHT

I made dinner for my roomie :)
Toasted Ravioli on a bed of pasta with alfredo sauce, and BLT salad ::
YUMMO :)

Picture Perfect:: Day 3

DAY 3:: A PICTURE OF THE CAST FROM YOUR FAVORITE SHOW.

It's a TIE::



I LOVE LUCY



SMALLVILLE

Picture Perfect:: Day 2

 DAY 2:: A PICTURE OF YOU AND THE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEN CLOSEST WITH THE LONGEST.

My Shield. My Best Friend. My Momma :)

Picture Perfect:: Day 1 :)

DAY 1 :: A PICTURE OF YOURSELF WITH 15 FACTS ABOUT YOU :)

1. I am now TWENTY ONE :) :) :) :)

...as of thursday at 7:11pm

2. I feel like i'm forty one. lol

3. Kristi Renee means Christian Born Again <3

4. I often leave my keys in the front door after i unlock it :P

5. I am not allowed to watch the news, I am too compassionate. I can't take it.

6. Pickles are my FAVORITE food.

7. My husband calls me munchkin <3

8. I have PINK highlights in my hair :)

9. My butt is my best physical feature ;)

10. My compassion is my best personality feature <3

11. I am scared of BIG fish (remember jonah...?), geese, and loneliness.

12. I am the best aunt. EVER. ;D

13. I am obsessed with owls, ANYTHING animal print, and pink.

14. In my past life i was Tina Turner... Rollin... Rollin ;D

15. My God has a BIG plan for me... just wait & see :)

XoXo.

Picture Perfect for 30 days :)

I got this idea from my beautiful friend, Bethany :) And thought it looked like fun. So here we go...

Day 1 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 2 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.
Day 3 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 4 - A picture of your night.
Day 5 - A picture of your favorite memory.Day 6 - A picture of somewhere you've been.
Day 7 - A picture that shows your true self.
Day 8 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 9 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of you and your friends.
Day 17 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 18 - A picture of your favorite place.
Day 19 - A picture of a habit you wish you didn't have.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture that confuses you.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you crave alot.
Day 25 - A picture of you last year and how you've changed since then.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

Twenty ♥ One

I had the best day today.

It's my BIRTHDAY :D

...and a lot of people worked super hard to make it FABULOUS :)

First it really started on wednesday night.  I went out to BWW with my besties, Hannah & Scarlett. I got my PINKTASTIC gifts from Hannah & Scarlett. Pink perfume from the hannah and the best of PINK from Scar :) Then we went back to Scarlett's for some Karaoke.  AND I ROCK FACE AT KARAOKE :D :D :D lol.

Then, I was awaken (not a pretty sight) suddenly at 6:30 am on Thursday to a breakfast with Hannah, Scarlett, and my roomie Cia :) :) :)  Cia started a scavenger hunt for me full of clues to 21 presents :) Among my gifts were jewelry, zebra nails, a scarf, eye shadow, Ramona and Beezus, a book of fake tattoos ;D and a starbucks gift card.

As soon as I got to work Ivy and Fox met me at the door with ballons and cards singing "Happy Birthday". SO SWEET <3

At work, my brother in law, Marlin brought me a chocolate cake and a rose :) Then i had lunch with lil miss Ivy and my momma :)

When I got home, Cia made me dinner and we ate with My mother and law and Moses and Adria.

After they left we got Andy's and now we're watching "Life As We Know It" :)

It was the perfect day <3 Filled with kind words, phone calls, texts, gifts, and love.

I am so blessed.

Sunshine On A Cloudy Day :)

Time for another "February Love Post"

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and it just wasn't the same without MY valentine :/

But even on cloudy days when i miss Silas, I still have sunshine::

My IVY :)

 

I am thankful I got this "job" watching Ivy.

She gives me something to look forward to each day!

She's so silly, she always keeps me laughing.

Her hugs are so sweet <3

i love this little girl :)

XoXo.

Happy Valentine's Day :)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DOLLS :)

i hope this finds you all happy & loved.

These are my ROCKIN valentine's :)

The mustaches were DETACHABLE! and wearable ;D

...liiiiiike so :) haha.
We are absolutely the coolest!

LOVE TO ALL!
XoXo.

God must have spent a little more time on you :)

I have someone very special to me to introduce to you for this "Love Themed" post:

THIS IS MY DEB.A.ROO :)

but it embarasses her when i say that in public, so you better call her DEBBY.



She is beautiful. Inside & Out <3

Debby was my very first neice. She was born when I was five years old :) I thought she was so special that she was my show in tell in Kindergarten! I was definitely the coolest because i was already an "aunt" and i wasn't even old! lol

The very next year my big brother, Timmy was killed in a car accident. I've always believed that God took Timmy, and sent us our angel, Debby.

The first time I held Deb :)

Debby was born premie, and she had a really rough birth, with several seizures in the birth canal. Though the doctors thought she was fine, It didn't take long to notice she wasn't developing right. She didn't walk until she was two and a half, and she was four before she started forming sentences. My sister took her to specialists, but they weren't sure how to diagnose her. Finally, several years later she was diagnosed with autism.



left to right: Sydney, Me, Ginny (debby's mom), and Debby



Autism means she has her share of trials. She will probably never get to live alone, be a teacher (her life long dream), and because she doesn't know how to express herself she has horrible melt downs.

But, through it all she shines :) She doesn't let any of this hold her back. Some people see autism as a "problem", but we do not. She's not a mistake, or dysfunctional.

She's so very smart, and an avid reader. She has the biggest heart of anyone i know.   On her eighth birthday she had a birthday party and donated all the presents to the CMN. She said they needed it more than her :)

I love to go shopping with her. She is brutally honest about everything ;D And You've never seen "Say Yes To The Dress" until you see it with Debby. She gets so into, she shouts at the girls which dress to pick! Baking, Shopping, or just doing crafts, she is always fun to be with.

Debby is our Angel... God just spent a little more time on her :)

Debby's a Princess at Disney World!

  

"How can it be that right here with me
there's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you..."

A Little More Time on You, N*Sync

Impossible.

"You're entirely bonkers. But, I'll tell you a secret :: All the best people are." -Alice :)

I watched Alice in Wonderland for the first time today.

AH.MAZ.ING.

My favorite part is when Alice is kicking the Jaberwocky's hiney ;D

While she's fighting she's quoting her father,

 "I usually think of six impossible things before breakfast".

So, with each strike she names one impossible thing that has happened:

1. There is a potion that can make you shrink.
2. There is a cake that can make you grow.
3. Animals can talk.
4. There is a cat that can disappear.
5. There is a place called Wonderland.
6. I can slay the Jabberwocky

So, it got me thinking... what is my "impossible". Or rather, what have i seen that seemed impossible...?

1. Spanx can make you look instantly ten pounds thinner ;D

2. God is a healer. I've seen people recover/survive that never should have.

3. Men still give their lives for their country.

4. Best Friends are FOREVER.

5. There is a place called Heaven. I'll be there :)

6. I can live Happily Ever After :)

...with my prince <3

XoXo.

i love a NINJA ;)

Next up for the "Love Themed Posts"

This is Cory. He's a ninja :)

 

I absolutely love this guy! We go waaay back... like way back to the days when Justin Timberlake was a nerd. :P haha.  Church buddies since 97 :) Then, in fifth grade i moved across the street = neighbors & bus buddies, and church terriozers ;D From then on, we couldn't get rid of each other. At school we were in all the same clubs, most of the same classes and of course we still attended the same church faithfully. When we started driving we'd car pool, and he was my escort to our first prom and at graduation. We even ended up at the same college after graduation. We just seem to always be "stuck" together. But, that's okay because neither of us seem to mind.

My escort at Gradutation :)

I love having Cory around. He has always been my best guy friend :) He's so chill (which is good bc i'm high strung! lol) and he's so easy to be around. And he can always make me feel better about any situation...He has ninja powers!  I think my favorite thing about him is he truly loves me for who i really am. I don't have to pretend with Cory. He's known me through the worst, and he's still here... and, he always will be :)