Day 29 :)

Something you hope to change about yourself. Why?

Oh, goodness. I am constantly trying to improve myself.
And, sometimes i am waaay to hard myself.
I have a severe case of perfectionitis.
lol
It is easy to feel like i'll never be "good enough".
And that's something i've been trying to come to grips with::
I am always changing. And there will always be was to improve.
I can never be perfect.
But, that's okay, God made me perfectly imperfect.
AND HE LOVES ME <3


Buttttttttttt...
there is one BIG thing that i am really trying to change:
i want to be more HONEST about how i feel about things.
In general, i am a super honest person. When i worked at the preschool we had to write down what time we came in. If i walked in at 12:03, that is EXACTLY what i wrote down. lol. I do not like lieing and i HATE to be lied to.
buuuutttt...
I often over look it when someone asks how i feel about something or what my opinion is, and i change it so it's what they want to hear...
that's STILL lieing.
Sometimes, i don't tell people how i feel to save there feelings.
Other times, i don't give my opinion because i know they won't agree or I don't want to be rejected if i'm wrong.
And often, when it's someone wanting to know about me, (how i am, what's going on with me...) i'm not honest because i don't want to be a burden.

Soooooo...

That severly screws things up.
I have some "friends" that are only my friends (eh,um... and some "family") because they "know" i will tell them exactly what they want to hear.
And then, i have some real friends that miss out on some great advice and just knowing a super cool girl because i keep my mouth shut.
And, i miss out. Because, most people don't really know me :/

Buttttttttttt....
Lately, i have been working on it.  It all started with my beautiful (and quite honest) friend, EMiLY :)
She told me that if i wanted her hear me, i had to speak up. She let me know that she is honest with me because she loves me. Even when it hurts, she tells the truth out of love. And by not being honest with her, I am not returning that love.

Soooooooooo...
I decided, I will start speaking my mind :) ESPECIALLY when i am ASKED.
And if you don't like it, don't stick around.
I'm not holding you here with a gun.
AND you ARE asking for it.
My guess is, once people know what's in that crazy head of mine, they'll learn wether or not they truly want to ask! haha.