The rantings of an angry Army wife >:(

I do not get angry easily.
For me it's a process really.
I'm hurt, upset.
and i let it build...
and build...
annnnnd build...
and then...
KA BOOM.

I lose it.
...but it doesn't happen often.


That said. I AM INFURIATED RIGHT NOW.
There was no building up this time.
Nope! I went straight to "stone-cold,punch-you-right-in-the-juglar,giggle-as-i-bury-your-body" ANGRY.

Tonight, someone (who's name will remain annoymous, mostly bc I do not want to be responsible for their death...) stepped over the line. WAaAAAAaaaYyYY over the line. So far past the line, the line looked like a dot. 
This person started making what my husband does a contest.  I don't see protecting us, working to keep our nation great, as any kind of a game.  It's not fun and there are no winners... but Silas does it anyway because he sees it as HIS duty.

That sweet little piece of arrogance was telling me how my soldier hadn't seen enough war. As if any amount of war isn't enough. They said they knew people who'd seen more just because of the military branch he's in (as if one is superior to the other... aren't we all working for the same thing, people?!?). Whoah, whoah, whoah! My husband is AN INFANTRY SOLDIER. We don't know and probably never will know what he's seen. Do you know why?!? Because he didn't do it for bragging rights.  It wasn't the money (because you know we're rolling in it... ;) ). It couldn't have been to travel (he's not a big fan of desert... lol). 
These are (a few of) his reasons:

So, dear person of arrogance, if you think your reasons are bigger or more important, than I wish you a life time of happiness with your giant head :) 

ps. if you EVER speak to me like that again... well, let's just say, you'll have to part your butt cheeks to see which direction you're walking ;)
("Bless your heart" ;) lol)

Can't touch this! Confession #2 :) 09.04.11

Confession #2

I Confess...

I don't like to be touched.

Okay, Okay. Let me clarify before i start hearing, "I've SEEN you and silas together, you didn't seem to mind..." or "Oh, no. Does that mean i shouldn't hug you?!?"

A. My husband can touch me anytime he wants ;D

B. I LOVE to be hugged... by the people i love. If i know the hug is coming I'm prepared. Small children aren't a problem, i don't get upset... they're cute & know no barriers.

It's just the randoms, that freak me out.

No unneccesary contact for me! 

You know, the old man at church who grabs your shoulder and welcomes you? Or my friend's mom that hugs me and squeezes? Pats on the back? The co worker that runs her fingers through my hair?  A sneaky hug from behind (it doesn't matter who...)

Ew. No.

Annnd when I say it freaks me out, I mean, I panic inside.

I turn into this rigid creature that can't move or speak.

My bones are lead.

I stand there with a frozen smile trying to reciprocate while my heart races.

Most of the time I get throught it with a sigh of relief and the other person barely notices.

Occasionally, I don't move, the other person, noticing I'm still breathing says, "You okay?!?"

Even more rare, I just get irritated and shake their touch off like a bad germ after they leave.

I'm a bit of a freak, but at least i'm good at faking the normal ;D lol.

So, there you have it...

This is probably a big surprise to those of you who are around me.

You're probably going, "Whaat?!? I thought she LOVED my hugs."

And, if I love you, I do ;)

Fess Up! 8.26.11 :) #1

So, I'm trying something new... confessions :) They maybe small things, big things, shocking, funny, or appaling, but (at least) once a week, i will confess to you. This should be fun ;)

Here goes my first one!

CONFESSION #1

I Confess...

I do not think new born babies are cute.

They often look like hairless rats, or aliens... I even saw a new born that looked like a clingon once!

I know this makes me like an anti christ or something. lol

I LOVE babies, i just don't think they get cute for a couple of months.

Like Arnold...

Hey, there :)

Long time no see.

GUESSS WHAATTT?!?!

I'm baaaack.

(cheesy arnold accent implied)

...so hold on tight.

ps. I can't wait to catch up & see what you've all been up to.

XoXo.

A Love Letter

Can you believe it's been a year? A whole year since I gave you my heart...
I know you knew all along I'd be yours someday. It must have broken your heart to see me fighting it.  How many times did you whisper for me to come to you?  Did you want to give up on me???

It breaks my heart to know I must've hurt you.  I'm sorrowed by the number of years wasted because of stubborn pride.  Please forgive me, and know I'm sincere when I say my heart is yours...finally.

Everyday I learn things about you that leave me amazed. I still don't understand how you: all knowing, compassionate, just... gave  up EVERYTHING important to you, so that you could have me forever even though you KNEW I would reject you year after year.  Or how could you paint a sunset, but still call ME beautiful??? OR how could such a mighty God long for my praises the way I long for His love???  I am so relieved to know you are not all of the things so many Christians tried to tell me you were for twenty years.  I am still learning, and I pray you'll continue to draw me in and teach me about you. Thank you for giving me friends that encourage me to learn and a husband that shows me glimpses of you.
 
I can never repay you for taking my battered heart a year ago today.  For loving me even though you know every flaw, every heart break, every mistake. I am so in love with you. And yet I know it doesn't compare with the love you have for me.
I cannot wait to live with you forever <3
Make it come soon.

All yours,
Kristi Renee
  

Picture Perfect :: Day 18

DAY 18 - A PICTURE OF YOUR FAVORITE PLACE.

Right here.

In his arms :)

Picture Perfect :: Day 17

DAY 17 :: A PICTURE OF YOUR BIGGEST INSECURITY.

My body.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life, and have never been completly happy with my body.

I do love my over sized booty (lol), but i am weirdly shaped. 

Above my belly button i'm medium sized (besides my flabby arms :P) but below I am X LARGE, baby ;D haha.

I am very insecure about my body, i am constantly looking in full length mirrors, tugging at my clothes...

It's something i wish i could be cured of because I know it hurts those who love me as well as myself.

...but hey! We're all a work in progress ;)